Mish: I'm perfectly ready!

I'm so excited, can't wait to be with my hub. Still counting days and so impatient for that time to come. It feels like waiting for several months or years though it won't be that long anymore. I know everything will be alright because I'm with my hub. I'm excited to start a life with my hub together. God will always be at our side so I don't need to worry. I wish time flies so fast that when I wake up tomorrow I'll be with you already.

I love you Honey! I miss you! Don't feel sad about what I felt last time, I'm just too emotional. Sorry if I made you think that I'm not yet ready to go with you or that you're not doing anything to make me feel better when I'm sad and feeling helpless. Thank you for being there always, I really appreciate it. I'm perfectly ready and so excited! See you soon babe. Can't wait to spend my days with you. Like what I've said let's help each other to make this work out. I know we'll be fine and will be happy together. I love you so much babe! I'll see you soon.

Jayson

Almost there honey why so lonely and alone, looks like I'm not making you happy or make you feel better. Thinking too much on whats going to happen that's why you feel alone you have to open your eyes if you are not ready to come with me let me know I wont push you.

Mish: Alone :(

I really feel so alone right now, feels like I'm in a deserted island, nowhere to go, can't see anything but darkness. I've been shouting loudly but no one answered, I'm helpless. Kept running and running till I slip onto something that I know would bring my life to danger.  I wish someone could rescue me from this quicksand I'm stuck into.

I've been crying but no tears fell on my eyes. My whole body is numb neither felt my eyelids open. Paralyzed for a moment but feels like decades frozen in bed. I wish someone could tell me that it's all worth living for and fight for my life.

I find it hard to believe on it again and difficult to entrust everything because I know in the end it will be just me again, alone, alone with myself.

Helpless.. There's nothing I can do and no one's willing to lend a hand. Someone says I'll be alone forever. Poor me.

Mish: This is it!!!

OMG! I'm so excited and at the same time impatient. I can't wait to be with my hub on the next following months and years woooohooo!!! I don't know what will happen to us in US but I'm 101% sure that we'll have a happy life as long as we're TOGETHER. Yey! I love you babe. I'll see you soon.

Whatever is your will God, we'll follow. If it's your decision for us to go in other country then so be it. I believe that it will be for our own good and benefit. Thank you, Lord.

Mish: is ripped into pieces

Where can i find myself? I feel so lost and can't find my way home. I've been ripped into zillion pieces and wanted to be whole again. My heart had been broken countless times and wanted to glue it back together. My happy memories are gone with the wind and wanted to get them back where me and my hub are happy again. When will this painful trials end? I wish I had wings to fly where my hub is. I wanted to comfort him, hug him and tell him that everything will be alright but there's nothing I can do. We've been through tough times in our lives away from each other. It would be easier if we're together but then there's nothing we can do about it.

I'm leaving it all up to you, Lord. Give us strength to surpass all these trials.

I wish I can do something to make us whole again, to have each other again, to be happy again. I wish I had the power to control every situation and make it the way I wanted it to be. But it's not the reality.

We can do it, Babe! I love you so much! I miss you! Be strong. Have faith!

Mish: why does life is so hard on us?

I've been asking myself why do we have to go through this kind of trials? The only answer I get was maybe God wanted us to be strong and He is preparing us to a more tougher trials we will be facing in the future. I'm still optimistic and confident that everything will be okay. I'm just afraid that time is running so fast and we already wasted so much time. There's so many things we need to catch up on each other and I hate that those years changed my husband a lot more on the negative way. If only I could turn back the time. But maybe it's God's will. I entrust our lives to you, God. Whatever is your will, we'll follow.

Jayson: life is getting worst

what a life! its getting worst than ever. just done moving out from the old apartment. here comes the new place, new payment, new neighbor, sleep adjustment, how to move inside the house. little things may get complicated.